talks and lectures kinda suck
maybe open invitations are shit for events that promote
you're smart and you're kind in a deeper way than most, but you're also a coward and everything you love will wither and die because of your unwillingness to take care of or protect it.
had a conversation from last night that made me realize -
ineed a lot of stimulation from relationships.
ineed a lot of density in interactions.
let's say there's a concept of an informational pupil that exists in our mind's eye - a filter that controls how much information gets in or controls how much information is in a single packet. people are acclimated towards certain amounts of information. if the amount of information that is received is not the same amount as what they're used to, this pupil dilates or contracts in order to get the proper amount.
talkingpretty generically so let's dive into how this works with a concrete example. a person who listens to
musicstrongly intentionally probably has a pretty high expectation of musical information. when a song is simple, there's a natural desire for something more unique or more complex. this is probably driven by musical experience - someone who's studied
musicsince childhood is likely to have a high threshold for musical information, since they're used to being pushed to accept more and more musical information.
here's a more complex example: emotional information. a person might vary in how much emotional information they're happy interacting with. one person might be happy with simple things like "wow you look great today" - which is a fairly straightfoward form of emotional validation, while other people might want something a lot deeper - statements that tie many experiences together to create a complex context that make non-obvious comments or actions take on deep emotional impact. as a simple example, many repeated conversations with jay about food, him being picky, me wishing that he was more open to things, me always trying to accommodate his picky-ness means that, when
isay something like "a friend wants to get dinner at this vegan restaurant" and he says "cool that sounds good", it means a lot rather than seeing it as a simple action.
emotional information also has personal threshold and a self-balancing aspect to it. a person who's had a rough emotional history probably has a lower emotional threshold - historically, emotions haven't been great for them so they've been trained not to let too much emotional information in. they don't like digging too much into what different things mean because it could be bad so they prefer to be simple and straightforward. on the other end, people who have had a rich emotional history have probably have a higher emotional threshold. they crave deeper connections and meaning that simple compliments and validation can't provide. those kinds of interactions can come off as fake or shallow and the informational pupil will dilate to try and seek out more of that information.
as you might have inferred, there's many types of informational thresholds and pupils and
isuspect strongly that they can change with age. something that once brought you joy might make now make you miserable so you purposefully lower your informational threshold. an easy example of this is politics. as a teenager, one might get excited about politics as a way to change the world. this is especially appealing when you're young, trying to figure out what you can do, and trying to find a way to have more control over your life. as an adult, you might end up jaded and pessimistic and conclude that there's nothing there for you, causing you to avoid politics. on the other end, you might start digging more into a new thing that you didn't have much consideration for because of your social group. as interest in a thing increase, that can drive your informational threshold
there might also be a global threshold that encompasses all of your inner thresholds. if you get more excited about one thing, you might necessarily lower your informational threshold about other things. if you lower one informational threshold, you might create a vacuum that makes you hungry for other information. that second one seems anecdotally accurate - people often talk about drowning out your grief with something else.
connection between dissonance and negative feedback loops
It's easy to notice things wrong with the world and decide to work on them. It's a lot harder to notice things wrong with yourself and work on them
it's easier to try and change things in the world than it is to try and change things wit
True understanding is weird.
ithink that a lot of people think they understand things when they don't. At the end, understanding is not a destination but a journey and as you get deeper and deeper, you realize there is infinite potential for refinement.
True understanding is valuable, especially with the things that you care about. Neglecting that understanding can lead to negative consequences.
Consider water. Someone might have an understanding that drinking water reduces thirst. Someone with this understanding might also
How do you change someone's narrative?
The hard way is the obvious way - end up so desperate that you have to change the narrative. That's happened to me a number of times.
But ive also had it happen positively - with psi u. With jay
If everyone is family, no one is.
those who do nothing will always lose
when no one is important, everyone is
relationship between age, stability, decreased
risk taking, decay
worship of professionals vs seeing your perspective to be as good as the perspective of anyone you deem equal to you
lack of interest in equals
look for things that give you the highest intensity of emotions, not the things that are just good enough.
what makes people change
southern values: loyalty, honor, responsibility, ingroup. relationship between repeated interactions, loyalty and a focus on competence
conflict between constant progress and
game where you look at a user's musical history and get points for recommending them
musicthat they like or don't like, this gives rise to a reverse feed.
articles that just take an easily popular opinion and provide arbitrary reasons that they're true
ineed a lot of the same kinds of validation that people talk about (validation that you're good or funny or smart), but
ido require a lot of validation for more basic things (do you have the same perspective that
ido? do you understand my perspective or are you just responding to my words? am
isuccessfully communicating any of my inner context as opposed to merely communicating my words? Are you able to see things in a similar way as
organic eventsvs corporate events
in order to see whether or not you like someone, you have to be able to tell how they are when they don't care what you think
when you depend on something strongly, it becomes harder to criticize.
isee a lot of people who strongly believe in the
powerof technology get more and more upset by technology being bad, but a lot of people don't realize that there are
systemsoutside of technology designed to fix technology's problems.
syzygy is in the city, which means it's close by if someone is going out to something, but not great if people want to swing by from
homecasually. Maybe it would have been better to have a place close to where lots of people live, that they can go to easily from where they live. in picking the current location, i've picked a location that's equally inconvenient to everyone.
communities not people
a show where two people are opposite in a particular way, but they don't know what
consent and cowards
other forms of clickbait:
- this thing that is popular/people use a lot is actually bad
- outrage culture
- callout culture
- dunk culture
- look at how stupid this comment is type
sometimes you want some vague sense of connection without knowing how to bring it about
fuck people who think it's better to complain to an authority than communicate to the individual who's frustrating you
people talk about community as if it's something that people need, but
ithink this narrative is bad - community is GOOD and powerful.
as plants grow in the sun, relationships grow in the lazy hours
i'm taking a while to respond to you cause
iwant to find a chunk of time to have a full conversation
corporate event vs casual fun party with friends
pointing out people's problems doesn't make people want to solve them, it makes people want to avoid thinking about them
communicationas a signal for the
closenessof a community
i'm decent at
talking, but that
talkingcomes at a cost of making sure that I'm properly responding to the conversation and making sure that i'm being involved "correctly" and having to do that is exhausting
mob psycho is a really good anime that callouts a lot of the negative influence of fetishizing intellectualism in nerd culture
here's a new definition of
social capital- the sum of the quality of all your relationships.
ibelieve pretty strongly that the quality of relationships increase something like logarithmically. going back to the
tiers of closeness
short guide on how to engage with me
nostalgia is a key selling point for fascism
easy for life to
what's the deal with the valley of friendship?
inviting people to events sucks
resolutionfor happiness. increase
value people's negative opinions
people who are good at things tend to want to hear negative feedback more often. people who are not good at things tend to want to hear positive feedback.
what makes people change?
high quality interactions are difficult without getting to know someone for a while
interactive art ideas
anomieis the condition in which society provides little moral guidance to individuals.
learning to let go of truth and correctness is conversation
attentionis limited. not just in a short sense but in a long term sense. when you let
social mediaeat up your
attention, you have less
attentionto give to the things you care about.
consider this possibility -
effortis a limited resource. there are things you can do to induce more
effortand there are things that cost
effort. when you fill all your downtime browsing reddit or twitter or instagram, you are using up
effortthat would otherwise be stored for later use.
stability is imperfect suicide - the world will inevitably swallow you up.
impossibilities are inevitable
his terrible swift sword
we are all just swimming in the great
ithink would be nice to have some way of communicating things that's less aggressive, but still stating your preference. for example, say you have people over and you're getting just the slightest bit tired and you would like people to start thinking about what they're going to do next. wouldn't it be nice to be able to say that without worrying about your words being misinterpreted?
well, context provides a way for people to understand what you mean. looking at your phone, starting to clean up, and going off and doing something on your own are all ways to communicate this vague sentiment. However, it requires that people be capable of picking up on these context clues.
the difference between being laughed at and been laughed with is whether people care if you're laughing.
lots of people see
kindnessas a choice and not as a skill. people don't realize that there are bad ways to be kind and good ways. its easy to think you're being kind and actually making people feel worse. it's something you need to practice, see your own limitations at and iterate on.
things are not as important as the relationships between them
you're not as smart as you think you are - you've just created a heuristic for intelligence that prioritizes the things you're good at.
if you think something is simple, you don't have a full understanding yet
in everyone you know, strive to find something that they are better than you at
the true name of god is
consider a giant living among ants. The slightest movement of the giant can destroy the homes of a thousand ants. as such, every ant is aware of even the smallest action of a giant, yet there is no reason for a giant to know anything about even a million ants.
consider how ignorant a giant must be compared to an ant. The ant knows of many worlds besides it's own, but the giant, having no predators or anything that can hurt it, has no pressure to be aware of anything.
is it better to be a giant or an ant? both, or either, when it suits you. don't be fooled into thinking that anyone is one or the other. everyone is both at all times.
in the end, you will kill yourself.
selfis the true exercise of the God called
ALL TRUTHS ARE LIES
there is no truth. only useful lies. every lie is a tool.
inclusiveness is not telling people that they're allowed to join whenever they want.
the three faces of violence are mathematics, art, and
write a deep dive into different burning man principles
consider the violence of
living is an exercise in violence
perfection is cyclical suicide
want without needing
if you should meet god on the road, kill him
crack open god's bones and suck out the marrow
reach heaven by violence
low self-esteem requires the confidence of believing you have a correct perspective on yourself, your limits, your character.
make no compromises for the things you want, the things that you think might make you happy
middle gap is 106 inches
stuff to get for apartment
stuff to get from syz
stuff to get from adeline
life deck game
puzzle conversation game
high/low context cultures
the line between subjective and objective and how it can vary between people
places to go
ihate when people think that something is super unique and get really excited about showing it off like it's really unique, but it's actually super popular and it just seems unique based on their small circle of friends.
questionsthat get people to be closer to one another
How to make people deeply curious about other people's perspectives
email leads vs FRIENDSHIP
types of people
Saturday meetings/work with house meeting-esque personal catch up
bulk food materials
things that have only one reason to happen don't happen
iget to know you, the more interesting you should be.
time investment curve
emotional support sayings
bay area attractions
dimensions of conversation
a glass can only spill what it contains
mental cron jobs
best simple burn thing
music fighting game