two things are essential for two people growing closer. the first is time. the second is dynamicism. people like to make an analogy of describing two people that perfectly fit one another, but this is impossible. people are fractals and, naturally, a chaotic precession will lead to divergence. there's only two ways of dealing with this - changing oneself to accomodate others and changing others to accomodate yourself.
inclusivity paradox
connection between high context environments and ability to openly criticize
practice party
doing the minimum to not get fired can also be described as fulfilling the terms of your working contract
let's say you hire someone to do a full time job. their performance is good and you feel positively continuing to work with them. eventually you find out that this person has actually been working only 4 days out of the week. what's your response to this?
correlation between being social and susceptibility to contagious diseases?????
operating assumptions
maybe shorter, more frequent interactions are better long term
can a niche businesses survive or thrive in your city center?
maybe a generative theory for poetry and lyrics is to describe transitional points that are like "this is how i used to be, this is how it affected me, this is who i am now"
thinking about the amount of time it takes to develop meaningful relationships. i felt like the lower bound for getting to know someone well in college was one semester. assuming 14 hours of time spent with one another per week, that's 244 hours spent with someone to get to know them. in adult life, let's say that you spend 4 hours with someone per week. that's pretty high, but would still require that you spend more than a year with someone before you get to know them.
go to an event and ask people "how far from here do you live?" as a heuristic for the sprawl of an area
affection and trust are maybe the same?
enjoying an experience instead of processing it
community building steps
the practice and skill of enjoying and entertaining yourself
symbiosis
cities
pinecones
human beings are not nearly so clever as the mental systems that serve them
a messenger app that includes whether you're available for talking or for hanging out.
radio show that is cooking and just hanging out and talking about stuff. it's real time so people can follow along with a recipe in real time.
city size comparison
do you feel comfortable going to a bar and talking to a random person? what is the answer to this across demographics
walkability to price ratio
friendiness in low society vs high society? are friends more likely to be useful at different class stratifications?
good characters
investing in your environment
mental model art inspiration
asking yourself if something is good or bad can help you recognize more goodness in the world
how good are you/how much practice have you had at talking about the things that you love? compare this to how good you are/how much
settling down vs explorational
non-property benefits
the cost of not learning
social media app
jazz substitution
being good enough vs being the best you can be
hanz zimmer brass
the misunderstood genius or the singular artist
feedback team - a group of fans who have been specifically selected for their ability to give feedback. possible way to iterate well with 1000 true fans idea?
comforting talk is different from honest talk. if you want one, you're unlikely to get the other
context makes doing the same thing over and over again feel
banter and bedlam
god of chaos
having time to reach out to the people i care about and have the types of conversations i'm excited about
this app could get a lot of gains re: bugginess and dr by simply separating each of these pages into blocks. each newline could be its own "editable" space.
social media as a literal exploratory random walk
sometimes being yourself prevents other people from being themselves
do you still believe that a good life is defined by having nice things?
madoka magicka as a metaphor for growing up and realizing that participating in the capitalist system dooms you to a life of mediocrity and lack of fulfillment but needing to continue to exist in that system in order to keep the people you care about from falling apart in that system.
ok, if you were being honest, you could get a lot of good impact by just increasing conversation vector surface area.
personal podcast ideas
i just wanna type some shit like "I want to do X with friends at this" into a website and see who shows up
used to group interactions or 1-on-1 interactions
appreciation gifts
pre-art auctions or microfunding - artist posts a sketch that they're working on and people bid more on it as it finishes.
trope websites
the point at which the question of whether or not you can do something disappears.
so annoying when other people keep trying to convince you that they're good enough
why try to look better than you are?
do you value negative feedback?
gamefaqs formatting style
what do you value and what can others make you do for the things that you value?
asymmetry of interpretation in social interactions. when people encounter ambiguous social interactions where things can be perceived either more positively or more negatively, which way do they lean? alternately, when people break the rules of socialization, which way are they more likely to interpret them?
syz direction choice - organization that throws huge events with thousands of people as the audience that's well know in sf OR a tight knit. community of 150-200 regulars.
you're going to be more burnt out from having to clean a single room you think you shouldn't have to clean than from cleaning five rooms that you were willing to clean.
can people simply say how they feel about something without implying something?
community pitfalls.
1. shame
2. disrespect
3. lack of empathy or understanding other people's perspectives
do you know when to follow rules and when to break them?
closeness is developed through 1-on-1 interaction. crowds make 1-on-1 interaction feel easier and less committal.
i like the idea of asking people the question of "can you make a sandwich", but just replace common words like "sandwich" and "make" with gibberish, resulting in something like, "can you rwnjf a frfiw?". making a sandwich, at least a simple sandwich, is something that almost anyone can do. However, the skill of understanding a task that you don't understand at first is not something anyone can do? Additionally, the questions that people ask in figuring out whether this is something they can do or not can provide a lot of insight to how people think.
theory - the majority of people have little to no direct aesthetic leanings. people's primary aesthetic leanings are defined by culture and the culture that people relate to and associate with develop people's aesthetic values. this reflects how people will rarely be interested in music that share common characteristics with other music that they like.
eternally torn between respecting people and being nice to them
do you love some one enough to help them grow out of any benefit you can provide them with? if someone you loved could become so confident, so powerful, so self-assured that you would only become a burden on their lives, would you do it?
some people are too busy taking care of themselves to be good at anything
content vs form
dating questionnaire
the relationship between genre and naivety
relationship retros
i want to start a conversation group about the things i'm interested in talking about. there's a group of connected topics that i want to be engaging in conversations about. the connected topics are, self-improvement, self-awareness, self-fulfillment, capitalism, social systems, trust, community, self-honesty, shame, communication, inclusiveness. a good format to talk about this kind of thing would be to have a generalized topic like one of the above things or like compersion, have everyone talk about their own experiences with it or their own opinion on it.
you cannot be a good artist without being a voracious consumer of art.
what do you want people to know about yourself?
uncomfortable dichotomies
either you don't care enough or you're incapable
it doesn't invalidate or disrespect how you are living your life now to say that you could be living it better.
postulate: everyone has a toxic trait that comes up when they don't have enough mental resources to deal with their situation.
what's your perspective on uncertainty? is it to ignore it, eliminate it or manage it?
triple puns
new goal: live a life where 100% of consumed goods come from friends
consumers disappear and are replaced. it's what you make that makes you unique
letterloop
are you the type of idiot that lets cool people let you feel terrible?
developing community vs pursing interactions with valuable individuals. there's so many people that i wish i was close to that i want to spend more time with but they're not people who are part of my default community. again i find myself relying on ease as the most reliable way of figuring out who i should be hanging out with.
is it better to get to know individuals who are better for you or a community that is better for you?
this is maybe a nonsense question - the communities that people are in influence who they are and who they will be. those communities will curve the trajectories of their character. this also applies the opposite way.
getting to know individuals is easy. getting to know communities can be slow and boring. a community made up and lead by admirable people will pull others in that direction. a person in a community that doesn't reflect those values will grow to reflect the values of that community or split off from it entirely.
the first step of getting close to someone is always going to be visceral fun.
if everything wasn't going to be ok, would you want to hear that
landlords are leeches of value from society
hanging out with you is like hitting a speedbump in life
can you imagine being so uninteresting that buying things is the main way for you to entertain yourself
can you imagine being so uninteresting that buying something for someone is the best thing you can do for them?
is there a particular kind of cruelty in having the people you care about be completely useless to you
mystified by cute helplessness
what's the deal with non-symmetric advice? surely we can all agree with the obvious exceptions that exist in response to common place advice like "love yourself"... unless who you are is kinda shitty.
parables
is it more important that something is natural or feels right or is it better to get the things you want?
instructional cooking show but really it's about a guy who's life is falling apart and is using making cooking tutorials as a way to cope
skill trees for life skills
you're not honest with people cause you often assume that you'll hurt others by speaking your honest feelings
"managing" socialization vs "honest" socialization
attention/stimulus depravation as a method for attachment induction
do you value the quality of the experience over the quality of experiencing something new?
music to get
i don't understand what it is that people call "trying"
we spend more time developing skills for work than any other skills
the world has never been faster than my imagination
levels of self confidence
- no self confidence
- loudly asserting that you are confident
- lack of a need for others to see your confidence
- lack of a need for yourself to see your confidence
do you like talking even if there's no point to it?
californians seem to be good at sympathy but very bad at empathy
would you rather be engaged/entertained at the risk of being embarrassed or safe at the cost of being bored?
progress vs stability
how fun someone is, is very commonly proportional to how much effort they are willing to put in.
you don't need to try as hard as you have. there are people that you can hang out with that are passively willing to try
are you willing to risk embarrassment to do something good for the world or for the people you care about?
bias vs conservative thought. a way to discourage bias is to establish standards and adhere to them. conservative thought traditionally doesn't have standards
how to measure a persons' ability to imagine the perspective of someone completely different from you
what is a person's level of bias towards or against you? in what ways are people biased towards or against you? how does this effect the chances of positive interaction.
is it possible to create some kind of bias test? the basic bias test is something like - "say something personal about yourself and see what the response is"
Racism vs racism
diversity vs similarity
brain to mouth distance
fixed mindset vs growth mindset
When people have more of a fixed mindset, they are more likely to rely on stereotypes to define another person. (not sure i believe this
to encourage growth mindset - focus on this idea that hard work, knowing the correct strategies are what lead to success.
when people have a fixed mindset, they interpret their abilities as fixed.
are you more concerned with how you act or how people see you?
understanding your internal reasons can help avoid bias in decisions
bias training
dust and its connection to humanity or intentionality
inner light or inner resolution
attraction is maybe just a symbolic hold for traits and attributes you connect to on some level.
social media marketing
not having to explain your perspective to people before talking about what you want to talk
event optimization
tests for various agnosias
what does a healthy human look like?
- has long term desires
- is able to act upon those desires
- is able to incorporate new information that does not match current worldview
- is able to make long term behavioral changes that fulfill those desires
bug: handle apostrophes
st annes hill community lessons
skinship
you don't see what i'm proud of
are you willing to change your systems? do you recognize that your behaviors are probably upholding the current system?
imagine being so far apart from someone that, when someone tells you that something is good or smart or impressive, you believe that it is so much the opposite of that, that you assume they're mocking you.
i want to have some regular event that is super consistent and an incredibly high level of fun. something that almost everyone will actively want to come back to unless they suck.
depth test: how many layers into a conversation are people willing to have?
friendship metrics
casual roleplay
headspace manipulation
when one ignores things, disaster is inevitable
how much do hobbies cost in different cities
stereotype avoidance
pusog fundraiser notes
outside vs inside in terms of relating to other people.
connection between rule-following and insecurity.
music is a lens
- ???
how to make dj streams more interesting.
the positive and negative feedback loops of mental health.
burden of motive. burden of socialization.
normalization as a function of tiredness? normalization as default.
no tourists festival
timbre variation on note.
a leader among children or a child among gods
love to see my friends just get so POWERFUL
you should strive to be good enough that people will still love you and be there for you while they are fully aware of your flaws.
the danger of personality. the danger of leaving the herd. the probability of shame when you are alone.
There's a limit to how close a relationship can be:
- how easily people can communicate their needs to others and how easily people can respond to those needs
- a person's willingness to act in a way that benefits the other person in the relationship.
Have you done the work of self alignment? If not, how can i trust you? If not, how can you trust yourself?
Do you provide sympathy or empathy? Are you looking for sympathy or empathy?
An entangling of theory and emotion
process from fatalism to giving up to things getting worse to "it's always been this way"
childish enough to believe that people will believe the things that they say
i don't want people in my life that make me feel good. i want people that push me to embody my values.
i will never understand people who find things less interesting as they find out more about it.
challenge what is default
seek serotonin, not dopamine.
the people that would be great for you might already be in your life.
there is information that you are refusing to integrate.
beyond grief is resolve
when you have an unfulfilled want or need, things aren't seen as what they could be but instead as what they're not.
people focus more on expanding their network than on utilizing them
educational series where characters go to a school focused on that thing and get involved in tournaments and shit.
some people haven't found anything new to like since they were 19
second order effects
getting people to do things in sf is harder
gourmet breakdown
enjoyment -> acceptance -> improvement
more than most other things, there is a strong desire to build
personal well being status check.
what can you do for me that i can't do for myself?
solider's dilemma
non word sounds for communication are really fantastic
are you doing marketing or creating value? are you just making something look better or are you actually making it better
formal tension release? after having an awkward conversation, we should do something fun and lighthearted to chill out.
complex products are doomed to failure
i've always wondered why pasta is so expensive. i wonder if i can create a few pasta recipes and sell them for a relatively cheap price.
when everyone does as little as possible to contribute to society, everyone has to do a lot more.
divergent thinking
convergent thinking is narrowing down implementation details until you get one that works
predictive awareness
preference towards learning avoidance vs learning preference. if a piece of knowledge would hurt you, would you still learn it?
creativity as a function of divergent thought.
your brain can think better than you can process emotion
information withholding as self-protection
algorithm that plays notes with a certain relationship to notes i play on the guitar
have you ever thought something that you've never heard someone else say
what is put in your brain by the world vs what comes from yourself?
i think it comes down to internal vs external benefit. when you do something for someone, do you do it so that they'll treat you better, so that they'll give you something in return, or are you doing it in and of itself?
how much of your initiative are started by you vs by other people
thinking about people is good
understanding and insight over fandom
when talking normally, people can react in a pause. online, that's a lot more difficult
TRASH MANIFESTO
how do you deal with contradictory judgement calls? how well do you talk about differences of opinion?
big difference between "i am hanging out with you because you are someone that is around vs i am actively excited to hang out with you."
validation with disagreement
inherent conflict between capitalistic, transactional perspective and a key detail of the human experience - that providing value to other people provides us with value.
enjoying things is cringe
if you haven't seen this before, you haven't been
the default effect of your actions is that they primarily affect you, but this isn't true. worse yet, we've separated people in a desire to decouple people from one another unnaturally.
research questions
meal suggester
you don't need evidence if people are going to agree with what you're going to say anyways. i personally feel like it's really important to gather evidence
infinite loops that people get stuck in.
What's something that you used to think everyone else agreed with you, but then you found out that actually very few people believed that thing?
infinite vs non-infinite entities
fundamentally, do you want to be around people with similar taste?
house party vibe vs public event vibe: is the appeal the person or people involved or is the appeal the activity that's going on?
when you get too close to people and see them everyday, you don't have an opportunity to see how they're doing long term fromo a high level
enhanced baseline cognitive load as a result of cognitive disassociation
relativity reference frames for decisions
let's experiment with how little we need in order to do an art show
assumptions necessary for automating thought flows